It’s not that simple…

Transitions

Married / single , couple / solo , date nights/Netflix. Wtf peeps. I’m trying on this new coat but it’s too tight on my shoulders and is way too long and ill fitting. I don’t like it and want a refund.

Guess I’m going to have to sit in this shitstorm, look for an umbrella and figure things out.

This I know. The more I share my honest emotions the better and less alone I feel. Today I announced I had filed for divorce to my drapery sales guy calling to collect an old outstanding invoice! Yup really awkward. He said , “ At least you have your dogs.” In true well planned Uber chill response (lol), I said, “They aren’t as nice to sleep with.”

WOW. Just the right amount of creepy visual left a lasting impression and ensured I will never have to speak with him again. Share number 2 more rewarding from the nurse administering unnecessary Botox in my forehead . Thank you girl for letting me know you were married to an alcoholic for 22 years and that you are now happily married to an amazing slightly younger man who rocks your world.

Yes Oprah I see you! I hope you see me too.

Journey along jumpinkat. Journey along..

Just the right amount of awkward means I’m an interesting person😎

Happiness is a balance of what you need and what you want

I needed this little guy today . Soft , fuzzy , comforting. Haha I am regressing from dog lady to stuffed animal weirdo . Wait, I reject this concept! Am I really so odd to want to find comfort and rebuff the negative ions spewed my way? I much rather focus on happiness finds than staying in a dark underbelly of sad facts to share another day. Please repeat after me :

HAPPY BUBBLE

Happy bubble protects my soul and defines the dome surrounding me. Safe , content , calm. Some might suggest living in a state of “happy bubble “ is unrealistic. If Echhart Tolle can have his pain body, I can have my damn Happy bubble!

Be kind to yourself today and find comfort where you can and remember :

Out of the ashes comes great beauty🌸.

Jumpinkat’s Happy Thought Toolbox:

Aesop is yummy and charms my senses into happiness. Spray liberally!!!!
Lululemon travel bag . So many zipped happy compartments for my pillow IPad and travel delights. Rafa here I come…

One of my inspiring instagram finds @katieholmes.counselling always gives me a boost and offers thought provoking clarity when I need it. Katie also leads me to new finds . Check her out.

Inspiration, happy bubbles and cute little stuffies are all I’ve got today . Please feel free to share how you find your joy. For now my dear travelers in life I bid thee Adieu. 🚁🚁🤷‍♀️🐕

Dear Facebook,

Well there’s no easy way to say this Facebook. Your happy memories suck! Would you quit, I mean quit sending me memory photos of happy times ! My heart feels ripped out every moment I see one of your Uber significant eight years ago you were enjoying a special memory day seeing where you were married! Yesterday the perky perfect Caribbean backdrop with us on a Jetski sent shivers down my spine and I wailed like a widow. That was five years ago today. The man in those pictures is not present now or maybe ever again! The man in front of me doesn’t consider my feelings on any level. He ignores reality. He is self centered and impulsive, paranoid and in denial that any of his behaviors play a role in his 8 month “sabbatical “ from being welcome to live in our home. I can’t trust one word out of his mouth. These “happy memories” make me want to vomit .

F-book, can you please add a dislike option to remove happy memories as the first thing I see opening your ap? Or better yet, just stop sending any! There are always back stories to these photos.

I look at these memories differently now . How much inner turmoil was Hubby hiding ? Was anything real?

Pictures on Facebook don’t lose their lustre. So chin up Kat and remember….

Setting boundaries for a mentally ill or self medicating spouse is ok! I have the right to say what is acceptable behavior to enjoy the privilege of a life with me. My Magna Carta for our current marriage was “In order for you to live here at our home, you need to be in treatment and not self medicating with alcohol or drugs.” This seems self evident and reasonable.

Sadly after a short stay in a psych hospital and 6 weeks in-patient rehab including a three day family program where I poured my heart out to perfect strangers, Mark announced that he wanted to “be honest” and would be drinking cocktails here or there. (He has been in AA for the previous three years post totaling his car and spending his birthday in jail for a DUI. ) This time prescription drug abuse and outrageous behavior were the impetus for his new holiday.

Simply stated. Ouch. His choice is not me. He’s chosen a mistress named Vodka. Like a petulant child, Mark attempts to challenge the house borders without complying to my boundary. He has threatened divorce and blames me for all that is wrong with our marriage. But , I’m still standing strong. I feel emotionally bruised and battered yet behind my inviting blue front door is a calm home where I can breath peacefully. I understand there is likely an illness here. Yet, the man has SOME responsibility for his actions! Today I’m feeling more anger than empathy . I think it’s self preservation as I grapple for clarity and dust myself off and attempt to fill voids of time in limbo land.

” The man I married cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow” –Quoted from page 183 One Day at a time in Al-Anon

PS I ❤️❤️❤️❤️ the new Nike’s !!

Jumpin forward in these Kicks!

Christmas orphan

18 and 19 Trash!

So this year is a first for me. I have joined the class of characters struggling to make the holiday bright and shiny. I’ve made cheeseballs, decorated two mantels , wrapped gifts that are mostly for myself. Damn that happy mall full of families shopping together! 2 months into my status as filed for divorce, did I tell you my husband has announced he is cured from depression and manic behavior? He’s graduated into the un-drugged. Way to go! Keep that alcoholic level high! Bound to keep you happy and rid of the pesky soon to be ex wife who is the root of your problems. My old holiday traditions have blown up. There will be no husband and no daughter to wake up with Christmas morning. Skip the william Sonoma pastries plumping on the stovetop . Bah to fondue , Christmas lights and Rudolph cocktails. Daughter doesn’t want to be in the same state or deal with awkward who should I spend time with this holiday. I feel deserted . We shared the shitshow hubby show last year. I get it but it’s smarting to my core.
Good news! I have a therapy appointment Christmas Eve! Yay. Merry merry.

Trusty poodles will sustain me!


So listen up, whether you have a gaggle or are hanging by yourself , appreciate being. Soak in the experience knowing there is a plan for you and your journey. Honor yourself in all your loneliness and accept the feeling as fleeting or look at it as the opportunity to explore you. There are far more people needing basic necessities! Get perspective and do something for someone else .

Happy hanakkuah, merry Christmas 🎄🎁. Peace love ❤️ and be.

Lifeburn

I’ve had way too much time to ruminate. Anger . Sadness. They slosh the sides of my empty stomach upsetting as 2 lattes and and An Italian coffee gulped without breakfast.

Holiday shmoliday. I am feeling life heartburn. Simmering crapdom. Looking out the window anticipating adventure in Budapest and hoping to be my best self.

Best self challenged in Budapest but the sites and sounds of a new city present opportunities to appreciate all of my life gifts . I recognize and SEE you through the rich history of Hungary 🇭🇺.

600,000 beautiful Jewish souls lost their lives at the Danube in Budapest during WW2.

CHECK THIS OUT!

Hygge. Kismet. Until next time friends…❤️

How can I help you daughter?

So I’m not alone on this shitstorm journey. I brought an unwilling passenger along. Geeze daughter, I’ve been so caught up in my own pain and suffering that I failed to glance in your direction.

The stability of our family unit has been blasted to smitherines . Your dad disappoints on so many levels. Master manipulator he appears distraught at the strained state of his relationship with you. What better way to appear sincere than to offer gifts . “Bella (one of his 🐴horses). is yours Kel. Why don’t you come up and see her. We can train up the coast together . “ In between promises , he states his case for my dismal lack of contribution to our life together. “ Your mother hasn’t done anything in our business.” He let’s you know you haven’t done your part either. “ I’m disappointed Kel that you haven’t kept me informed this week about the health of your grandfather .”

Here’s the thing. You are one hell of a major force to be reckoned with. I bow to your resilience and learn from your pure heart and strength. I’m unsure that being an adult when your parents implode is better than being a child. You have some adult perspective but the foundation of your world is cracked . Add in one parent’s mental illness and manipulative behavior for his own betterment to the mix and the result is a full blown earthquake size 8 on the Richter scale .

On the other hand, Your mom is an emotional train wreck. Girl I am slipping. Room mom, Girl Scout troop leader , NCL chapter president did not prepare me for this! I am on a very slim tight rope above the twin towers post airplane 1 gripping my butter coated feet to the steely coil trying to make my way to the window where I see you searching for a way out. We are both perilously holding on .

Despite my fears and uncertainty and pain, I do know this:

I have faith in us. We are bound together in love and the certainty of showing up for each other. When life gives us lemons, we make lemon drops or my favorite new drink , bees knees…

Dear friends , please find your bees knees and have an inspiring incredible Sunday . Look up from your path and SEE those who need you – slippery or steady toed. You do make a difference!

Hit the eject button

Well it’s been 3 days since the official beginning of the end of my marriage as Mark was served for divorce by an officer of the court. I can imagine him hearing the knock on his door . His text response to me. Typical. He was relieved and would have served me some time after his travel.

While I’m going to work on my best life, I’m allowing myself some pity anger venting party.

REALLY DUDE! You don’t have the cajones to man up act with class and file some papers to inform me you are a free agent sporting a boner for a new team. Bah! Shame on you in all your illness , addiction and blame game! Classless , reckless, narcissistic jerk! You ARE capable of better . Show your life partner of 28 years RESPECT!

Ahhh I feel better and thank my new follower #stilllearning2b for some great material to motivate and reinvent myself. I don’t want to be caught in the pitfalls angry needing justice and apologies. They are valueless in the best life scenario. I am going to imagine what I want and where I need to go and who I want to be there with. Forget the why . Focus on the How.

EAT MY DUST SUCKAH!!!

Covent Garden I’m coming for you!

Breathe Jumpinkat breathe.

And so it begins… Expect great things ahead ! Next up: living my best life!!!!

I’m going to jump into the cornfields of Indiana and the cobblestone roads of London .

Today’s challenge – what are you jumping into? Are you brave enough to make a fool of yourself and send me a jumping picture ????

May your comeback be stronger than your setback. — #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

Thank you my new millennial friend! Perspective perspective. Each one of the human beings on this planet has a struggle . The human condition. Commonality. Pretend to be different than the stranger standing next to you in line at Starbucks or waiting for the bus, nope we are All in the human club. Can’t change it. It’s dna baby. 2 legs , one penis or vagina, or derivative thereof , human emotion, pain body, happy bubble, we are all the same. I am dang grateful for beautiful souls who remind me of this fact. This is truly worth jumping for in a brand new spot ! Poor poor jumpinkat! Life isn’t going your way. Waah waah. I am blessed beyond words and connected to the beautiful presence of being on the blue globe because of you wherever you breathe .

Check out the millennial life crisis link below . She / he is killing it!

Simple. Concise. Powerful. I’m not sure who the first person was to say this quote, but it was exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve had a rough day. Well, if I really want to sell myself a pity party, I’ve had a rough year. Nevertheless, I digress. As I sat across the table […]

May your comeback be stronger than your setback. — #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

Jumping into a new space

Progress. Little by little. Next chapter. Sign me up for the unknown!

Today started sluggish and stressful and slid into fan shit flying everywhere. Realization happens.

Bipolar spouse is wooing unknown romantic squeeze chick on my dime and in my real estate using my elite mileage status points for first class airfare with my credit card. There is a limit to understanding. Reap what you sow Dude! Bully no more. This is the catalyst I need to put on those big girl panties and start the next chapter. It’s almost anticlimactic. Sadly my marriage has become a cliche. I will not be a cliche.

I choose me!

I know there is a good man inside of the cliche yet his shell is made of impenetrable bat dung smelling like flamingos at the zoo. No thank you. I am willing to inch along to a new life alone.

I’m not stuck feeling weepy anymore!

New motto:

I choose me!!!!!!!!

Are you struggling? Feeling so sad for the loss? Please share…🐩🌴

Jumpin help from my dear friends who get me through the rough patches